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Never Compromise

So last night I had a dream. I was in "Spice Girls, The Musical". Sounds kind of cool, but it was a terrible amateur dinner theatre. It was terrifying. I was waiting to go on, hadn't even met the other performers, the script was totally weird and none of the songs were the same as the ones we all know. Weirdest of all I was supposed to play "Posh Spice".

So there I was in my dream with David Foster pushing me on stage, (why he was there I have no clue, but I was ok with it) and off I went to go sing something so terrible I wanted to die!

Everyone loved it, especially the retired folk in the front row eating their dinner. I managed to pull it off, but still, it wasn't what I was supposed to be doing and I was uncomfortable for every second of it.

I woke up in a panic and realized it was all a dream. But was it.

FFS. It was a flashback. Not exactly the same scenario, David Foster never showed up, but when I was in music school, we were all so damn hungry to get gigs of any kind. Being paid to sing or play was considered an amazing opportunity. So, along came a gig. A regular one at that. This was huge! I had to take it, because it was a golden opportunity.

I was so happy on the outside that yes, I had money coming in from singing, but on the inside I died a little. For I was to play Sandy at a horrific dinner theatre. Yes there was dancing on tables, grinding around with some 40 year old "has been" playing Danny, (I was 19 at the time) and was performing with a band that, much like my dream, I didn't even meet until I was almost standing in Mildreds awful chicken Kiev halfway through summer nights and realizing my musical career was already dead.

I continued with the gig for a while. Then it got to the point that "Sandy" ended up being a brunette (I didn't even bother with the blonde wig thing, and at the sexy reveal end part I think maybe I bothered to change from a skirt to jeans. Then finally the gift of self sabotage came to fruition....they found a replacement! I was free. I'm the worst at quitting, but I should have. The show was crap because I wasn't into it. I let them down, and poor mildred who probably was really excited to have her dinner danced around with a "wella-wella-uh tell me more" was probably most disappointed,.....but alas it wasn't me, my style or my passion.

So, my point is, yes, if you can pay the bills with a regular soul sucker of a gig, maybe take it, save some cash and look at it as practice. But always keep your eyes on the big picture and NEVER settle. You will never be the performer or musician you truly are, if you are in the wrong scenario, and trust me, If you are, you may not admit it, but you will know.

The right thing is out there. Chase it. Work for it, and do it!

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